Category: video games

My alarm goes off at 7am, jarring me out of a weird fever dream in which I’ve gone back to school after a long illness but everyone I speak to refuses to tell me which classroom I’m supposed to go to for maths, and also our comprehensive is full of Americans who keep calling it a ‘high school’ for some reason. I spend the first twenty seconds of consciousness in a panic that I’m going to be late for class before remembering that I graduated from university a decade ago, roll over, smack the snooze button, and descend back into the insanity. It’s warm and soft there.

After trying and failing to get me out of bed at 7.05, 7.10, 7.15, 7.20, and 7.25, my alarm informs me that it Won’t Get Snoozed Again (try saying that in your head to the tune of the CSI: Miami theme for maximum effect of what it’s like to be trapped in my head) and that I can either get up and face the day or spend the next couple of hours trying unsuccessfully to navigate an M. C. Escher painting generated by a subconsciousness that hates me. Groggily I open my eyes straight into a shaft of sunlight and, cursing Yesterday Becka for not remembering and/or bothering/caring to close the bedroom blinds I stagger to my feet. This time I don’t step on an upturned plug, but only because the small occasional table I use to play my Switch in bed is in front of it. Knee banged and fucks thoroughly sworn, I stumble to the kitchen to obtain some Frosted Shreddies and then lurch unsteadily back to to bed with the bowl clasped in my hands and the spoon secured firmly in my teeth. I burrow back under the covers, impressively failing to splash milk all over the duvet, and try to remember what day it is.